Day 23 - Success Drug

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I am a living being in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I exist as a hope in the future somewhere.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that I can only exist in the future and not here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of living my utmost potential, because I fear that I will not be able to move myself to take the steps necessary to make change happen in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of taking steps, not seeing, realising, or understanding that steps can only be taken one at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn 'taking steps' into something which should be feared - fearing that I will not be able to make these steps.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief that taking steps into the unknown is difficult, because I have never done it before.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise, and understand that the same process is at work here and that I only can take one step at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a fear of taking the wrong steps.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is impossible for me to thrive in my current existence as I am now, not seeing realising, or understanding that I need nothing but the air around me to take a thriving breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is impossible for me to take these thriving breaths one after the other continuously forever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on the hope that I have created in my mind, that says to me 'all I have to do is wait and things will get better by themselves'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life as being something within which I have to be successful at, not seeing or realising that success is a word that cannot be attributable to life.

That life is life,

unbounded and unconstrained,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life must have some meaning to it - that otherwise it is not life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life must have some meaning to it, not seeing, realising, or understanding that meaning is irrelevant to life, life simply exists without it.

Life exists simply, and in simplicity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being simple.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that simple is stupid, and that one cannot be recognised or achieve anything if one is simple.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this desire to be recognised.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that wanting recognition is straying away from simplicity and thus away from life.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I have placed my trust in my mind, that I have trusted it to tell me what it is that I want in life- not ever stopping to consider that my mind might not be so trustworthy when it comes to telling me how to live my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear just existing

in my early days of smoking weed or doing drugs, I would always understand that point that I would fear being just here by myself

I would say to myself 'oh, that is something that I will do tomorrow, it is something that I can do at any time'

'why bother being with myself now'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always wait until tomorrow to do something instead of doing that thing now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing things now, here, and today - because I believe it would be too fast for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going fast in anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is better to always takes one’s time with things, not seeing, realising, or understanding that this is not always true and cannot be applied as a blanket statement for everything that comes up in life.